Steve Martin David Tennant Bradley James
Colin Morgan Jay Baruchel
"Once upon a time-"
"No. you're not starting like that. i hate that."
I had asked my grandpa to tell me about how our village had become the kingdom that it is now, how we had escaped the tyranny of the old "king" Steve Martin. But i hate when stories start with once upon a time. Those stories always end perfectly and nothing real actually happens.
"Alright..." Grandpa said "How about, A long time ago-"
"No." I rudely interrupted again. "That one reminds me of starwars."
I don't have anything against starwars, it's just that if a story starts like that all i can think about during parts that effect the protagonist is luke screaming NOOOOOOOO!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
Grandpa thought for a bit, then said "There was a wizard named Colin Morgan."
"Go on." I said, completely satisfied.
"He was living in the woods, away from town because everyone thought he was the reason for every terrible or mildly bad thing that ever happened because he was different."
*if this was a movie it would move back in time, like a really long flashback to show you the story without someone narrating it the entire time*
**the 'movie' starts in the woods, at Colin's house**
***a man staggers into his dwelling place***
"Colin!" The man said, breathing hard because he had been running, hence the staggering "I need you're help." (he has a scottish accent)
Colin hurried over to man to help him to a chair
"What's wrong David?" Colin asked with a lovely irish accent, while starring deeply into the man's eyes
"It's Bradley, He's let the elephants escape again." David explained still breathing kind of hard
*exasperated sigh* "I'll get the elephants back, and get Bradley in the house."
"Thank you Colin, I don't know why I don't just send Bradley on his way. He sure is a pain. And he eats A LOT."
"Don't-" Colin snickered "send him-" He continued, barely able to contain himself "here!" Colin and David both started giggling like two little drunk children for a very long time. And with that Colin donned his disguise (a nice black cloak, and a lovely 'stache he only wore for special occasions such as this) and walked out the door, but fell down laughing.
"Morgan!" Bradley yelled excitedly as he saw Colin (who had told him to only use his last name) walking over. "all the elephants got loose!" (remember, Bradley has a british accent)
"I know it was you Bradley, David told me." (switch your brain to irishness) "What happened this time?"
".....honestly i think you have bigger problems" Bradley said as he nonchalantly scratched his head.
"When I get back we're talking about this." Colin said as he walked away to round up the elephants.
*scene stays on Bradley who is currently more important*
Bradley walked back inside as he tried his best to think of another excuse that wasn't the same as the one he had used three times before. which was that the elephants picked the locks. When he opened the door, there was a man standing inside. who slooowly tuuuurned aroound.
"Hello Bradley." The man had a low british voice that sounded fake. "I've been waiting for you."
".....I haven't been waiting for you." Bradley replied
The man wrote something on a piece of paper, left it on the table, and quickly advanced towards Bradley.
Bradley didn't have any time to respond.
The man was too fast.
Far too fast.
Unnaturally too fast.
It's almost about to get crazy.
real crazy.
almost.
Colin came back riding an elephant and leading the rest of them back into their dwelling place.
"Bradley, where are you? We're talking about this! i have no idea how you manage to lose the elephants every time you watch them, but i know it's not because they pick the locks!"
Colin walked into the house, looking for Bradley. but what he found was an empty house.
With no Bradley.
"Bradley?" Colin called, walking towards the table now. "What's this? Bradley can't write...." Colin said as he noticed the note on the table.
I have been sent by the king to borrow
Bradley for his odd ability to talk to enchanted
objects and small creatures. He is safe, but he
will be gone for a while i'm afraid.
-LONG LIVE THE KING!
-his faithful servant, Jay
Colin stared at the note for a long moment, trying to decide what course of potentially heroic action he should take, when David walked in.
"Where's Bradley?" Colin handed him the note. David read the note.
"We have to get him back! he's daft! he'll probably take off someone's leg trying to clean their boot!"
Colin and David started gathering supplies for their wonderful journey together that would teach them many life lessons and bring them all (including Bradley) closer together.
Or tear them apart for good.
If they don't die first.
"Morgan!" Bradley yelled excitedly as he saw Colin (who had told him to only use his last name) walking over. "all the elephants got loose!" (remember, Bradley has a british accent)
"I know it was you Bradley, David told me." (switch your brain to irishness) "What happened this time?"
".....honestly i think you have bigger problems" Bradley said as he nonchalantly scratched his head.
"When I get back we're talking about this." Colin said as he walked away to round up the elephants.
*scene stays on Bradley who is currently more important*
Bradley walked back inside as he tried his best to think of another excuse that wasn't the same as the one he had used three times before. which was that the elephants picked the locks. When he opened the door, there was a man standing inside. who slooowly tuuuurned aroound.
"Hello Bradley." The man had a low british voice that sounded fake. "I've been waiting for you."
".....I haven't been waiting for you." Bradley replied
The man wrote something on a piece of paper, left it on the table, and quickly advanced towards Bradley.
Bradley didn't have any time to respond.
The man was too fast.
Far too fast.
Unnaturally too fast.
It's almost about to get crazy.
real crazy.
almost.
Colin came back riding an elephant and leading the rest of them back into their dwelling place.
"Bradley, where are you? We're talking about this! i have no idea how you manage to lose the elephants every time you watch them, but i know it's not because they pick the locks!"
Colin walked into the house, looking for Bradley. but what he found was an empty house.
With no Bradley.
"Bradley?" Colin called, walking towards the table now. "What's this? Bradley can't write...." Colin said as he noticed the note on the table.
I have been sent by the king to borrow
Bradley for his odd ability to talk to enchanted
objects and small creatures. He is safe, but he
will be gone for a while i'm afraid.
-LONG LIVE THE KING!
-his faithful servant, Jay
Colin stared at the note for a long moment, trying to decide what course of potentially heroic action he should take, when David walked in.
"Where's Bradley?" Colin handed him the note. David read the note.
"We have to get him back! he's daft! he'll probably take off someone's leg trying to clean their boot!"
Colin and David started gathering supplies for their wonderful journey together that would teach them many life lessons and bring them all (including Bradley) closer together.
Or tear them apart for good.
If they don't die first.
What a dolt Bradley is! This is so funny in a british, irish, scottish, fake british sort of way.
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