magical idiocy part 2

*quick review*
       Bradley James has been taken by a mysterious man sent by tyrant king Steve Martin, David Tennant and Colin Morgan start gathering adventure supplies so they can hopefully save the king from Bradley.

       *scene starts in Colin's house in the woods*
       "Have you seen my pack?" Colin asked his pet ferret, who shook his head vigorously
       "I thought I'd left it on the coat rack...."
Colin pondered where his pack could possibly be when his friend, (who also had an irish accent) Hat the dragon's head came through the window.
       "you seem to have lost something." Hat stated like he knew everything
       "I can't find my pack!" Colin replied terribly distressed
       "you're a wizard, Idiot." Hat said "use your magic to find it."
       "Oh. right." Colin casted a spell, and his pack came flying down the chimney and hit him square in the chest, and he fell on to his rump.
       Hat shook his head "only a sage would know why on earth you were gifted with magic."

*scene switches to a nice clean house where this story is being told (refer back to the 1st part of magical      idiocy part 1)*
      "Why a sage? aren't you supposed to use a very uncommon smart person for that phrase?" I asked my grandpa
      "Sages were very uncommon. When Steve became king, he kidnapped all the sages and kept them locked up in his castle for his own selfish 'needs'. It was horrific, the way the knights would walk into the streets at night and steal sages from their homes. you could hear the sages beg for release as they were dragged into a cage that would take them away to be locked up until Colin, Bradley, and David could save them. It was much worse when a family was involved, the cries of protest could be heard all over the village. And tears would still be streaming down their face the next morning. Sometimes, if things got too out of hand there would be bloodshed."
     "....Cool story bro." I said in response

*scene goes back to Colin's house*
     "Where are you going anyways?" Hat asked Colin in a prying manner
     "The king sent a man to take Bradley for his ability to talk to enchanted objects and small animals, but they aren't aware that he's daft." Colin replied
     "Would you like me to give you a lift to the cold snowy forest?"
     "Can you carry David as well?"
     "Of course I can." Hat said matter of factly "I'm going to tell him you said he was fat."
     "I'll go get him and we'll meet you over by the lake." Colin said, ignoring Hat's threat
the lake was the only place that was big enough for Hat to take off without killing a bunch of trees and possibly his wings and whoever happens to be riding him.

*scene switches to David's house where he's also gathering supplies*
     David was searching under and around various objects, terribly distressed. When Colin entered the room.
     "You look terribly distressed" Colin said worriedly
     "I can't find my pack!" David said, terribly distressed.
Colin cast a spell and David's pack flew off of the floor near his coat rack, and hit Colin's back really hard, and he fell on to his face.
     "Thank you Colin!" David said in a David kind of way as he swung his pack on his back and watched as Colin slowly got up, he didn't feel very good because he had already been hit in the chest, and his bum hurt from landing on it, and now his nose was bleeding because he fell on his face, and his back hurt.
David excitedly ran towards Colin's house.
But David tripped on a small rock and hurt himself, so now they both hobbled towards Colin's house unenthusiastically.

     Upon arriving at said house, Colin's pet ferret jumped on David and stayed on his shoulder all day.
     "I really like your ferret." David said with deep admiration for Colin's ferret.
Colin ignored him because he still didn't feel good, and they'd been walking for around 3 and a half hours, and it was raining, and he just didn't feel good. But all of a sudden, Colin looked up
     "We're here!" Colin said somewhat enthusiastically (he's tired)
     "Took you long enough. I've been sitting out here in the rain absolutely forever, and now we're going to have to wait anyways because I can't fly in this weather." Hat said.
Colin collapsed under a tree next to Hat, exhausted from his poor magic skills and his lack of ability to walk 3 and a half hours without getting tired. He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of rain falling on the leaves, and plopping in the lake, and felt the wonderfullness of it falling on his feet (Colin likes getting his feet wet). And he heard the adorable sounds of David playing with his pet ferret. And he indulged in the beautiful, fresh, smell of the rain. He indulged so much, he forgot to wipe the blood from his nose off his face. So he looked ridiculous when he finally came out of it and stood up an hour later when the rain had stopped. But nobody mentioned it. Because no one loved him...........
     "Alright," Hat said, lowering himself for Colin and David and Mr. Ferret "get on, we've got to save king Steve from Bradley"
They all got on to Hat's back, and away they flew.
To the icy, foreboding, ominous, Cold Snowy Forest.

They landed by the edge of the Cold Snowy Forest,
*back to the clean house*
     "Didn't anything happen while they were flying?" I asked Grandpa
     "They never talked about it, they always skipped to the part where they landed in the forest. I think they either didn't talk at all and it was terribly boring, or they had an argument and didn't want to talk about it."
     "Oh..." I said, left to wonder what happened on that flight to the Cold Snowy Forest
*Back to the edge of the Cold Snowy Forest*
     "This is where I leave you, I'm sorry I couldn't fly you further." Hat said, relieved to have them and their packs off his back. "Oh, and David, Colin called you fat." Hat flew away before Colin could say anything to him
     "What?" David said to Colin
     "No, I didn't." Colin said, slightly annoyed "I think you're a beautiful skinny man."
There was a moment of thick, awkward, silence before they made their way into the Cold Snowy Forest, where they would face the first of their horrific challenges.
they're not ready for this.
   



~~~This is gonna be a long one guys.~~~
   
     
     

magical idiocy

Unwilling participants:
         Steve Martin                       David Tennant                      Bradley James
         Colin Morgan                     Jay Baruchel
     
        "Once upon a time-"

        "No. you're not starting like that. i hate that."

I had asked my grandpa to tell me about how our village had become the kingdom that it is now, how we had escaped the tyranny of the old "king" Steve Martin. But i hate when stories start with once upon a time. Those stories always end perfectly and nothing real actually happens.

       "Alright..." Grandpa said "How about, A long time ago-"

       "No." I rudely interrupted again. "That one reminds me of starwars."

I don't have anything against starwars, it's just that if a story starts like that all i can think about during parts that effect the protagonist is luke screaming NOOOOOOOO!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

       Grandpa thought for a bit, then said "There was a wizard named Colin Morgan."

       "Go on." I said, completely satisfied.

       "He was living in the woods, away from town because everyone thought he was the reason for every terrible or mildly bad thing that ever happened because he was different."

       *if this was a movie it would move back in time, like a really long flashback to show you the story without someone narrating it the entire time*

       **the 'movie' starts in the woods, at Colin's house**

       ***a man staggers into his dwelling place***

       "Colin!" The man said, breathing hard because he had been running, hence the staggering "I need you're help." (he has a scottish accent)

Colin hurried over to man to help him to a chair 

       "What's wrong David?" Colin asked with a lovely irish accent, while starring deeply into the man's eyes

       "It's Bradley, He's let the elephants escape again." David explained still breathing kind of hard

       *exasperated sigh* "I'll get the elephants back, and get Bradley in the house."

       "Thank you Colin, I don't know why I don't just send Bradley on his way. He sure is a pain. And he eats A LOT."

       "Don't-" Colin snickered "send him-" He continued, barely able to contain himself "here!" Colin and David both started giggling like two little drunk children for a very long time. And with that Colin donned his disguise (a nice black cloak, and a lovely 'stache he only wore for special occasions such as this) and walked out the door, but fell down laughing.

       "Morgan!" Bradley yelled excitedly as he saw Colin (who had told him to only use his last name) walking over. "all the elephants got loose!" (remember, Bradley has a british accent)
       "I know it was you Bradley, David told me." (switch your brain to irishness) "What happened this time?"
       ".....honestly i think you have bigger problems" Bradley said as he nonchalantly scratched his head.
       "When I get back we're talking about this." Colin said as he walked away to round up the elephants.
       *scene stays on Bradley who is currently more important*
Bradley walked back inside as he tried his best to think of another excuse that wasn't the same as the one he had used three times before. which was that the elephants picked the locks. When he opened the door, there was a man standing inside. who slooowly tuuuurned aroound.
       "Hello Bradley." The man had a low british voice that sounded fake. "I've been waiting for you."
       ".....I haven't been waiting for you." Bradley replied
The man wrote something on a piece of paper, left it on the table, and quickly advanced towards Bradley.
Bradley didn't have any time to respond.
The man was too fast.
Far too fast.
Unnaturally too fast.
It's almost about to get crazy.
real crazy.
almost.

      Colin came back riding an elephant and leading the rest of them back into their dwelling place.
     "Bradley, where are you? We're talking about this! i have no idea how you manage to lose the elephants every time you watch them, but i know it's not because they pick the locks!"
Colin walked into the house, looking for Bradley. but what he found was an empty house.
With no Bradley.
    "Bradley?" Colin called, walking towards the table now. "What's this? Bradley can't write...." Colin said as he noticed the note on the table.
         
               I have been sent by the king to borrow
        Bradley for his odd ability to talk to enchanted
        objects and small creatures. He is safe, but he
        will be gone for a while i'm afraid.
              -LONG LIVE THE KING!
                    -his faithful servant, Jay

    Colin stared at the note for a long moment, trying to decide what course of potentially heroic action he should take, when David walked in.
    "Where's Bradley?" Colin handed him the note. David read the note.
    "We have to get him back! he's daft! he'll probably take off someone's leg trying to clean their boot!"
Colin and David started gathering supplies for their wonderful journey together that would teach them many life lessons and bring them all (including Bradley) closer together.

Or tear them apart for good.




If they don't die first.